SUU-DAVID
Well good morning everyone, this is David Rampa broadcasting live from Victor-Hotel-Sierra-Uniform-Uniform, on our way through the South Pacific. On the mike with me today is my beautiful and charming wife Kylie who's going to tell us about today's program.

SUU-KYLIE
Yes thanks David and hello everyone. This morning we've got talkbacks from Sam, Bill, the two Gregs, and the two Johns. Then there's lunch at 12 and a briefing at 6.

SUU-DAVID
Thanks Kylie. So who's up first today?

SUU-KYLIE
That's John Lewis of course and he's going to be telling us where he's going, how he's going to get there, and how long it will take him. Go ahead John!

TBZ-JOHN
Tango Bravo Zulu, holding point, ready.

SUU-KYLIE
[slight pause] Is there anything else you'd like to tell us John?

TBZ-JOHN
No no, we're ready to go, so the sooner we get there, the sooner we'll have something to tell you.

SUU-KYLIE
OK John, and keep us informed.

SUU-DAVID
And now we've got Greg from Dubbo on the line. What's your position, Greg?

TYO-GREG
Well David, I'm on top as usual, and Alison and I are really enjoying ourselves.

SUU-DAVID
That's great. Do you think you'll be able to maintain it the whole way?

TYO-GREG
Look, I'm pretty comfortable where I am, but if there's a bit of a clear spot, I might go down and get amongst it.

SUU-DAVID
Good on you Greg, glad to hear you're enjoying yourself. Who's next on the line, Kylie?

SUU-KYLIE
Well David, we have our other Greg from Sydney and he's going to tell us how he's travelling. Go ahead, Greg!

SYD-GREG
G'day Kylie, we're presently 131,000 Charlie-Oscar-Bravos from our destination and maintaining 6,000 Charlie-Oscar-Bravos.

SUU-KYLIE
Yes, good Greg, but what's a Charlie-Oscar-Bravo?

SYD-GREG
Kylie, Charlie-Oscar-Bravos are cartons of beer. I measure everything in cartons of beer, except for fuel consumption of course which is measured in middies per hour.

SUU-KYLIE
Well, what do you think of that David?

SUU-DAVID
I think it could become a new Australian aviation standard. All we have to do is lodge a difference with ICAO and put it in the AIP.

SUU-KYLIE
David, I've got Sam on the line now. Can you hear us, Sam?

JEZ-SAM
Kylie, I'd like everyone to know to stay away from the volcano.

SUU-KYLIE
And why's that, Sam?

JEZ-SAM
Because you get shit all over your plane. Hey, can I give a "cheerio" call?

SUU-KYLIE
Sure Sam, who's it going to?

JEZ-SAM
It's to the guy in Tokua Tower. When I flew past, he was waving his arms and jumping up and down and yelling into a microphone. I'd just like to say, "Mate, I'm sure you're doing a great job, but I can't understand a word you're saying".

SUU-DAVID
No worries Sam, I'm sure he'll be glad to hear from you.

SUU-KYLIE
I have another call, David. This one's from John Bestwick. Go ahead, John!

BWK-JOHN
Hi Kylie, it's John here. We've been at about 500 feet for the last 400 miles and having a great time. In fact, we just had some dolphins dancing in front of the prop.

SUU-KYLIE
John, doesn't flying that low worry you?

BWK-JOHN
Oh no, we love it down here. We get to see more islands, log more hours and take more photos than anyone else. Hey, I gotta go, I'm on short final and want to take some more photos before we land.

SUU-KYLIE
OK John, we'll leave you to it.

SUU-DAVID
And now it's over to Bospela Bill. How's it going Bill?

TYE-BILL
David, Kylie, I get really worried about my people. I worry about John and Gareth flying down low, I worry about my other John flying up high, I worry about Sam missing briefings, and I worry about all those HF radio calls I have to make!

SUU-KYLIE
No worries Bill, it will all be over soon.

TYE-BILL
Yes it will, but I'll also miss everyone on this safari and all the good company we've kept. That's all from me.

SUU-KYLIE
Thanks again Bill.

SUU-DAVID
And now here's Bob, our eye in the sky, circling overhead, with today's weather.

BOB-BOB
Yes David, if you have a look at the satellite picture, you'll see it's raining in Lord Howe, Norfolk, New Caledonia, Vanuatu and The Solomons. It's snowing down the east coast of Australia. And apart from a volcanic eruption in Rabaul, there's just a few clouds over the rest of PNG. Which means, of course, the forecast is F and B. Back to you, David.

SUU-DAVID
Thank you too Bob.

SUU-KYLIE
David, we have some late breaking news from John Lewis: he's arrived at his destination, he's overhead the runway at 700 feet, and he's expecting to see it soon.

SUU-DAVID
Thanks Kylie, and that's it from us. Stay tuned for our 'Ops Normal' call in 30 minutes time. This is David Rampa...

SUU-KYLIE
...and Kylie Rampa

SUU-DAVID
...signing off from Victor-Uniform-Uniform. Thanks for listening.